INTEGRITY FORUM

FOR GAY EPISCOPALIANS AND THEIR FRIENDS

c Integrity, Inc. 1979   ISSN: 0095-2184

Volume 5  Number 3   March - April 1979

INTEGRITY FORUM

Managing Editor:  David R. Williams. 

Editorial Board:  David S. Blix, Rev'd Grant M. Gallup, Rev'd T. Dewey Schwartzenburg and James Wickliff. 

Contributing Editors:  Rev'd Ellen M. Barrett, Rev'd Malcolm Boyd, Jim Cotter, Louie Crew, William A. Doubleday, Rev'd Carter Heyward, Rev'd Canon Clinton R. Jones, Rev'd John McNeill, S.J., Rev'd James B. Nelson, Rev'd W. Norman Pittenger. 

Circulation:  Jerry Vogt and Integrity/Chicago. 

Integrity Officers:  John C. Lawrence, President; Kevin Scahill, Vice-President; Donn Mitchell, Secretary; George W. Casper, Treasurer; and the 8 Regional Representatives as listed on the back page. 

INTEGRITY FORUM:  FOR GAY EPISCOPALIANS AND THEIR FRIENDS is the official publication of Integrity, Inc.  Publication of the name, photograph or likeness of any person or organization is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such person or organization.  Editorial correspondence should be sent to Integrity, P.O. Box 891, Oak Park IL 60303 or telephone 312/386-1470.  Copyright by Integrity, Inc.  6 issues per year.  Memberships are $10 per year; subscriptions without memberships are $12 per year.  Add $3 for mailing in a plain envelope.  Make checks payable to Integrity, Inc. and remit to George W. Casper, 530 Massachusetts Av., Boston, MA 02118. 

THE PHILOSOPHY OF PLAY

by John J. McNeill, S.J.

At most times in history the structures which implicitly concretize the values and meanings that underlie life are taken for granted.  Most people accept the answers to ultimate questions implicit in the structures of their culture:  family, school, church, society, and business.  They find these answers more or less adequate for life and the meaning and value of their style of existence.  Consequently, they feel free to commit themselves fully to the more pragmatic aspects of life and work without undue anxiety.  Thus, philosophical reflection understood as the taking of distance from the activities of daily life in order to reflect critically on the appropriateness of one's assumptions, is uncalled for.  Few experience any need to pose the fundamental philosophical problems such as Kant understood them:  What can a man know?  What ought a man to do?  What can a man hope for?

There is a new situation emerging in American culture.  A great many built-in difficulties both in our economic life as well as our personal life are becoming progressively more manifest, if not for the older generation, most certainly for our young people.  Take for example the mass desertion from the pure sciences in American colleges and universities.  Many who start in the sciences, by the end of sophomore year transfer to the humanities.  This phenomenon, I believe, cannot be explained purely in terms of some pragmatic consideration such as job opportunities.

For many young people today, everything that we of an older generation tended to take for granted is called into question.  Young people feel a pressing need to study the values and meaning of life.  The number of top students in recent years who have chosen philosophy or even theology for their major was unheard of prior to this period.  Another example is to be found in a recent study sponsored by the General Electric Company concerning the attitude of college students toward industry.  In the study, it was discovered that very frequently the very best students have no intention of dedicating their lives to industry.  They no longer share the type of motivation and understanding which led students ten years ago to take for granted their commitment to the objectives and ideals of industry.

One of the implicit assumptions of American industry has been the "work ethic."  The value judgment in this implicit assumption is precisely that our value as human beings lies in the work that we do.  We have to earn our value by our work and the work is understood as involving the production of material things.  What is implied here is the Kantian ethical attitude that moral goodness depends on man's willingness to commit himself to hard duty for its own sake in the form of difficult and dehumanizing work.  Kant was convinced that the worst temptation against moral duty was man's search for pleasure and happiness.

The Kantian work ethic is so much a part of our culture and of ourselves that we experience a very real difficulty concerning leisure time.  The average American feels guilty when he is unemployed or on vacation.  Perhaps for a day or two, he regards his leisure of value because it is necessary in order to prepare him for a return to work with renewed enthusiasm.  But any leisure beyond what is strictly necessary produces deepseated feelings of uselessness, guilt, and self-condemnation.  Again, there is the rather common experience of the retired man who literally loses his will to live once his work function in the community is ended.  Perhaps the most dramatic expression of the work ethic in operation in recent history was the directive sent by the Emperor Joseph of Belgium in the early 1900's to the administrators of his territory in the Congo.  In this directive, he pointed out that the basis of all civilization was, in his opinion, the spirit of work, and that if he were to fulfill his duty of civilizing the Congo, the natives were to be gathered into work camps, where they would be assigned daily quotas of work, such as gathering latex or laying railroad ties.  If anyone failed to execute his daily quota in a sufficient period, drastic penalties were to be applied, such as the severing of a hand.

This recalls a recent television documentary concerning the life style of a pygmy tribe in the rain forest of Africa.  These people, after they rose at sunrise, did about an hour's work, which was all they had to do to obtain the necessities of life, gathering bananas, preparing meals, repairing the thatch roof of their huts.  All the rest of the day, they played.  They held ceremonial dances, set up contests to see who could swing the farthest.  Even grandmother and grandfather joined the fun.  Their philosophy of life, or rather their ideology, involved the belief that they were children of a loving father, who enjoyed their play.  Consequently, their play was the most important thing in their lives.  By joyous play, they manifested their gratitude to God for their existence.  Now this was the sort of people who, Emperor Joseph thought, had to be taught the value of work.  But the only way to do this was to destroy their theology, their illusion that God loved them for what they were and not for what they did, and their psychology, their confidence in their own worth.  They had to learn to be anxious about their value and feel that they must somehow prove themselves, not by being themselves, but by what they could produce in the way of practical results through work.

The work ethic has reached its perfection in American culture, where it fused with the frontier spirit, native American pragmatism, as well as American puritanism.  Certainly that ethic was of enormous value and very effective as a popular way of evaluating life as long as we were meeting the challenge of the frontier in our collective effort to build a great industrial nation.  It is interesting to note that the primary effort of the present Chinese Communist leaders is to instill a similar work ethic into the Chinese masses for the same reasons.

But again, the work ethic is running into a whole series of inherent contradictions.  It is my conviction that these convictions, which will become progressively more manifest, are all connected with what is known as the cybernetic revolution.  Mankind for the first time in human history has the means to turn over most of the real labor of providing food, clothing, and shelter to the machine.  The primary contradiction, then, lies in the psychology of a person who is caught in the work ethic of a cybernetic age, where the amount of work and the time of life given to work has been and will necessarily continue to be reduced drastically.  Within our own lifetime, we have witnessed the reduction of the work week.  We start work much later in life.  (Some cynics claim the only real justification for college is to keep young people off the labor market.)  We quit work much earlier.  The work week has been reduced from a ten-hour, six-day week to an eight-hour, five-day week, and faces the imminent possibility of further reduction.  We have already indicated the type of problem the resulting increase in leisure creates for many.  Another contradiction involved in the work ethic has to do with holding up the goals of affluence and leisure in order to motivate people to work harder, when the very achievement of these goals leads to a sense of loss of value and the reward becomes more of a curse than a blessing.

It is interesting to note that the fundamental theological myth concerning work in Christian culture is found in Genesis, where man is described as originally living in a Garden of Paradise.  Here, like the pygmies in the rain forest, he played in the presence of God.  However, man sinned, and the curse visited on him was that he lost that loving presence, became anxious, and found that "by the sweat of his brow he must earn his bread."   From this account in Genesis, it is clear that at the roots of our culture, work was seen as a curse based in sin and anxiety.  From this viewpoint, the whole history of mankind to the present day can be understood as a progressive effort, based in the blood, sweat and tears of all ancestors, to liberate us from the curse of work.  Today, due to the cybernetic revolution we stand on the threshold of that day of liberation.  Some theologians interpret the myth of the Garden of Eden, not so much as a reality of the past, as a primordial dream of humanity concerning the goal of all human evolution and development.  What was projected into the past really represents the ideal goal of all human striving.  In any case, work was originally understood as a curse, but the work ethic distorts that curse into a blessing and tries to keep man subject to the curse in an age when liberation has become possible.

Another essential aspect of the work ethic is that it leads to the relativization of persons to things.  The work ethic demands that we judge our own value on the basis of our relation to things:  our relation to person is considered irrelevant or secondary, at best.  It is interesting to note that President Nixon's political proposal to reform welfare was based in a dramatic appeal to the American work-ethic tradition.  The same administration that originally proposed to fight inflation by increasing unemployment, now, proposes to reform welfare by putting massive numbers of people back on the job market.  The interesting aspect of the proposed reform is that the mother on welfare, who stays home and dedicates herself entirely to her children, to developing their personalities and serving their needs, is not considered as making a worthwhile contribution to the community, because she is not working with things.  Many propose to place the children in some sort of collective nursery and force the mother out of her home to work for a living.  The same prejudice finds expression in the inferior salaries paid to teachers, nurses, or others who deal with people and not with things.

The use of the word "bum" is a very interesting indicator of our implicit value system.  "Bum" indicates someone for whom we have no respect, someone we consider as valueless.  But what is a bum?   Someone who does not work for a living.  (Note the interesting ambiguous attitude of parents who work hard to send their children to college, but consider all college students bums because they do not work for a living.)  The work ethic is also built into our legal system.  The law in most American communities stipulates that if you are discovered loitering, do not have a certain sum of money in your pocket and do not have a job, you are a vagrant.  Consequently, you have no right to exist in the community.  You are put in jail overnight and the next day you are told to move on.

The relativization of personal values to the value of things is one of the aspects of American culture which bothers young people most.  Mayor Daley's reputed order:  "Shoot the looters!" epitomized for them his distortion of value.  Young people claim this relativization of persons to things is built into the very structure of our society.  How often recently we hear of one or another major American industry claiming to be a family and demanding the same type of loyalty and dedication from its employees one would expect from a member of the family.  Yet once the individual can no longer make a profitable contribution, industry no longer feels any reciprocal loyalty.  In fact the only family many American firms resemble is the Eskimo family, where, the day grandmother's teeth give way and she can no longer chew the skins, she is put out on an ice-shelf and bid a tearful farewell.

Recall to mind the book which at one time was the bible of the aspiring young American business man:  Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People.  In my opinion this book should top the list as one of the most immoral books ever written.  For what I understood as its message is that one should pretend genuine interest in other persons, not for their own sake, but in order to use them.  This is precisely the meaning of the word "hypocrisy."  One practices smiling, saying the right things, pretending the right interests in order to win the other's confidence in order to make a sale, to get ahead in life one way or another.  Once again, we are involved in a reversal of true human values.

In contrast to the work ethic, what do we mean by an ethic based in play?  The opposite of work is not sloth, doing nothing at all.  Rather, it is play.  Play must be understood as a basic human structure, irreducible to anything else.  Most analysts of play make the mistake of attempting to understand play by reducing it to a means to something other than itself.  I have in mind the type of psychological study which attempts to explain child play-behavior as an instinctual learning process in order to learn to cope with reality, "a preparatory behavior to work wherein one learns to develop new skills."  In his book Games People Play, Eric Berne does not really deal with true play at all, but with the same type of hypocritical game-playing Dale Carnegie portrays in his work.

The first necessary condition for play is that the play activity must be meaningful in itself and not be related to a result which lies beyond the action itself.  A playful action must be totally meaningful here and now.  One of the great difficulties of the work ethic is that it deprives us of the ability to live the present moment for its own sake and renders us victims of the tyranny of time.  When one is working, what one is doing is not meaningful in itself but only in terms of what comes after:  the money earned, the leisure or success or honor gained.  One sustains the drudgery of the present in hope of what the future will bring.  One's whole life can be caught up in this attitude and its quality destroyed.  The college student waits for graduate school.  The graduate student waits for a job.  The worker waits for vacation.  The vacationer waits to go back to work.  Our whole life can be spent waiting for what comes next.  Then death intervenes and we never really existed because we never found time to do something for its own sake; that is to say, we never played.  This aspect of play also has a close connection with the quality of our interpersonal relations.  If the worker as worker cannot be present in the present moment, he can never be there fully for anyone.  This ability to live fully in the present moment and, consequently to be able to be there fully for each other is probably the primary reason why, when one succeeds in playing, one experiences such intense joy and fulfillment.

As the German poet Schiller put it:  "Man is only fully man when he plays."  Johann Huizinga in his classic book, Homo Lutens:  The Play Element in Culture, sees play as the fullest expression of our humanity because it is the fullest expression of human freedom.  Play, if it is anywhere what one is doing is an expression of personal initiative and expressive of self, free from all extrinsic constraint.  Huizinga builds a good case for the thesis that all human civilization has its foundation not in work but in play.  Commerce, science, law, all the art forms have their origins in human play.  Even religious worship is a form of play.  In their recent statement on the meaning and role of the liturgy, the American bishops explain that the purpose of the liturgy was "to teach us how to celebrate our existence." Huizinga argues that, if play is the foundation of all civilization, to lose the sense of play is to threaten that very foundation.

In order to clarify further what we mean by play, we must make a very important distinction.  The very same action can be either work or play.  Whether or not one is playing or working depends not so much on what one is doing but on the conditions under which one is doing it.  The charwoman, for example, who goes downtown at night to scrub floors in an office building in order to buy food to feed her children, is working.  Contrast this situation with that of a young wife washing the kitchen floor while waiting for her husband and children to return home.  There can be a large element of play here.  This example leads us to the next condition of possibility for an activity to take the form of play.  Play always calls into question the type of interpersonal relationship within which the activity takes place.  A good example of this is to be found in the contrast between the relations of workers in the factory with their relations on the company team, the bowling team for example.

If a man on a bowling team had to achieve a certain score in order to earn a living, it could be the worst form of drudgery.  But on the contrary, despite the amount of effort involved in a bowling game, the men are playing and enjoying themselves.  Perhaps the most striking practice which changes the nature of their attitude toward each other is the practice of giving a handicap.  It would seem that the purpose of the handicap is to allow even the least skilled player to compete on an equal basis with his teammates and make a real contribution to the team effort.  In this way he achieves a sense of equality and his anxiety over success or failure is lessened.  Another curious difference in attitudes between work and play has to do with the attitude toward cheating.  Many a young person who would not hesitate to cheat, if he though he would escape detection, in an imposed circumstance such as in a school examination, would never dream of cheating in a game.

There is another key difference between work and play.  The attitude of work is always based in anxiety.  Frequently people in industry strive to increase the productivity of workers by increasing their anxiety concerning job security, or pay raises. Play, in contrast, can only result to the extent that there is a felt sense of security.  Animals, for example, undertake play-like behavior, but only if they are well-fed and feel protected from their enemies.  Psychologists observe that the sign that a child is seriously disturbed is when he ceases to play.  The only way a disturbed child can be freed to play once again is to give him the felt security of being loved.  Some theologians argue that adult man is only free to play when he becomes aware that God loves him for his own sake and not for what he does.  Thus, the freedom to be able to play is the central message of Revelation.

The final and most important condition of possibility of play has to do with the type of community within which the activity takes place.  There are two basic types of human community, the functional and the personal.  In a functional community, the interrelation that occurs between persons is not meaningful in itself but only as a means of productivity of some sort.   Authority in a functional community exists in order to coordinate the efforts of the group toward that productivity.  A personal community, such as the family is quite different.  The community is its own end.  It is the loving interrelationship between the members which justifies the existence of the community.  Any productivity of the personal community is secondary and has its source in the overflowing of the joy and love which unites the members of the community.  Authority in a personal community has as its primary task to promote dialogue, to bring about the personal confrontation and mutual affirmation of each other among the members.  A personal community is based on the fact that we need each other.  We need others to affirm us in our existence, to make us feel that we mean something and that we have value.  We need the security of being loved and giving love in return.  It is only to the degree that we find ourselves members of a true personal community that we have the necessary security and confidence in order to be able to play.

Every human community has elements of both functional and personal community.  Even within the factory, elements of a personal community come into existence spontaneously.  On many occasions it is precisely these elements that are most resented by authority.  I know of one case, where one member of a team working in electronics, had an excellent sense of humor.  The supervisor, disturbed by the laughter, sent a notice to the team to the effect that "their levity was unprofessional and had to stop."  He never asked whether their levity interfered with productivity.  As a result he destroyed the spirit of the team.

A play community is of necessity a personal community or, at the minimum, a community that subordinates functions to persons.  The primary interest of people in a play community is in each other as persons; they are concerned to affirm each other continuously through their mutual activities in a secure atmosphere.  Where there is a team working together, authority's primary interest should be a real concern for the personal fulfillment of everyone of the team.  The equivalent of a handicap is that no one should be given a job that is too little or too much.  The team should work together as a personal community and be ready to help each other.  Judgment on the individual should come from the peer group, for the peer group will know whether someone has genuine problems and help out; and they will also know when someone is not doing his share through laziness.  There should be a continual concern for the work of others and a continual approval of their achievements.

In his novel, Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenter, Salinger recounts the conversation between the hero as a young boy and his eldest twelve-year old brother who had just become champion marble player of all Brooklyn.  The younger brother asks: "Seymore, what is the secret of your success?"  Seymore ponders for awhile and answers:  "Don't aim!"  I believe the real point can be found in that exchange.  It would take an enormous act of courage for someone in business to commit themselves directly to the well-being of their employees and only secondarily to productivity.  However, I am convinced that if this is done and done sincerely by management the result would be even greater productivity, but on condition that was not one's aim.  What should be the immediate aim is on the team, the potential interpersonal community.  Every effort should be expended to produce the type of atmosphere in which activity could be transformed from work into play.

I appreciate that these ideas remain rather abstract and remote.  It was never the philosophers' job, thank God, to make concrete applications.  What remains certain is that there is a real need for someone with a clear grasp of what is wrong in the present situation, and a clear grasp of what would be ideal, to exercise a really creative and imaginative effort to transform the functional community into a personal one with the resulting transformation of work into play.

First published in Catholic Mind, Volume LXX, Number 1260, February 1972.

PRESIDENT'S MESSAGE

During the past months, I have been privileged to meet with seven Integrity chapters around the country.  I was very impressed with the concern, commitment, and the strong sense of community I found in each place.  It was a special joy to encounter so many fine and beautiful people who made me feel that they were old friends.

My first trip took me to visit new chapters in Vermont and Montreal.  Both groups are small and struggling, but each one has a core group of committed people who are determined to develop Integrity into a vital and effective force.  There has been some support from the clergy in both Dioceses, but it is important that we keep new Integrity chapters in our prayers.  A friendly letter of support or a copy of the newsletters of other established chapters often provides a welcome feeling of being a part of a larger community movement, as well as a source of ideas and sharing of experiences It is especially difficult for those in rural areas where the closet still reigns supreme, and where many who are in need of support have to drive for miles to get to a meeting.  Yet, there are many who do it.

My second trip included visits to five chapters in the West, a trip paid for largely by my employer, thanks to the strategic location of a nursing conference in Los Angeles, San Francisco, Albuquerque, and Denver and a new chapter in San Diego.  I found the chapters engaged in unique and vital ministries both within and without the gay community.  I shared the activities of Integrity as a national organization and hope I succeeded in conveying our importance as a national "movement."  The Integrity presence at General Convention was discussed.  I found people deeply interested and concerned about this coming important event and very willing to help in any way possible.

In Los Angeles, I met with the Executive Board of Lutherans Concerned and had a valuable discussion with Howard Erickson, their leader.  We explored ways in which we might cooperate in our ministries In San Francisco.  I was privileged to meet with the Rt. Rev C. Kilmer Myers, Bishop of California.  It was encouraging to hear his good words of support as well as to have the benefit of his perspective on the climate and the political situation in the Church.  There was also an interview with The Advocate, and a meeting with a small group at the Church Divinity School of the Pacific in Berkeley.  I was interviewed by the religion editor of the San Diego Union, the city's largest daily newspaper, and a fine article subsequently appeared which provided some good press in a relatively conservative diocese.  I was also able to meet with a rector and some vestry members with whom I had been corresponding for some time.  While they clearly disagree with Integrity's positions on many issues, I was impressed with their genuine pastoral concern for gay people and their willingness to have a lengthy, but very useful dialogue with me.  In Albuquerque, I met a couple of people who have been confirmed in the Episcopal Church from other denominations because of their involvement with Integrity.  That was nice to hear when one usually finds gay people leaving the Church these days, not coming into it.  Convenor David Maulsby assured me that he made it a point to bring this to the Bishop's attention.  Finally in Denver, I had the opportunity to discuss plans for our Convention (Sept. 6-9).  I reviewed the arrangements and spent time in planning with members of the chapter who will be undertaking the responsibility.  We have invited the Rev. Carter Heyward, one of the pioneers in women's ordination and author of A Priest Forever, to give a keynote speech.  Also invited as the other two main speakers are Charles Brydon, newly appointed Co-Executive Director of the National Gay Task Force, and the Rev. Richard Kirker, an Anglican deacon who is the Administrative Secretary of the ecumenical Gay Christian Movement in England.

My thanks to all who made my trip a great success for their fine planning of my schedule (which the chapters did) and for the hospitality shown me throughout the trip.  There is a great spirit of Integrity and a warm sense of community among our people and chapters which was an uplifting experience for me.  If you want to experience these good feelings in a small dose, visit another chapter next time you are out of town, and for a large dose and an exhilarating experience, come to this year's Integrity Convention.

                        --John C. Lawrence, President

OREGON GOVERNOR GETS PRO-GAY REPORT

The Final report of the State of Oregon's Task Force on Sexual Preference has been printed and presented to Gov. Robert Straub and members of the state legislature, and is now available to the public.  Besides general sections dealing with areas of public concern about homosexuality, such as questions of morality, the alleged threat to family life, and fears about child molestation, the 160-page report contains thirty-one specific recommendations for eliminating discrimination against lesbians and gay men.  The recommendations ‑‑ all approved by unanimous vote of the twelve-member task force ‑‑ cover such problem areas as government services and employment, health and medical treatment, education, programs for senior citizens, housing and public accommodations, criminal law and police relations, and family and children's services.

Copies of the report are $5, including fourth-class postage (allow four weeks for delivery); add $1.50 per copy for first-class mail.  (Bulk rates are available on request.)  Send orders and make checks payable to the Task Force on Sexual Preference, 607 Corbett Building, Portland, OR 97205.  For more information, write to Holly Hart, Chairperson, at the same address, or call 503/226-3651.

-NGTF Action Report

CANADIAN BISHOP'S STATEMENT ON GAYS DRAWS FIRE, HEAT, AND LIGHT

The Canadian House of Bishops statement, in February, that they accept persons of homosexual orientation for ministry, providing they vow abstinence, drew fire from breakaway "Anglican Catholic" clergymale Carmino J. deCatanzaro, who said the statement would "blacken the reputation of the priesthood."  A Toronto newspaper cited a top moral theologian (anonymous) who claimed 15% of Canadian Anglican Church clergy as gay.

Heated response came from Bishop Lewis Garnsworthy, who issued a pastoral letter to clarify the issues to his Toronto diocese.  (The letter is appended here.)  And a harder line came from the Very Reverend Hugh Stiff, Dean of St. James's, Toronto, who said "The silly bastards can discuss all that stuff if they want but they should have kept quiet about it."

                                  March 1, 1979.

My dear People:

I share with all of you a deep distress a newspaper and media reports which have appeared in the last week about considerations of the House of Bishops in the matter of homosexuality.  May I say that the Bishops prepared for themselves a set of pastoral guidelines for dealing with questions of ministry for our clergy. I want to emphasize that these guidelines have produced no change in any way from the traditional practice of the Church over the centuries when dealing with the disciplines of the clergy: what we have done is to state candidly what the process is.  If you read the misleading and distorted reporting in the press you would come to the conclusion that the Church is taking some new action.  This is not so and may I emphasize that the Bishops of the Church have said clearly that sexual relations outside of marriage are not permissible for all Christian people.  The House of Bishops has not condoned homosexual activity, but we have faced realistically the fact that throughout the history of the Church there have been those in ministry with heterosexual and homosexual orientation.  The Bishops stated once again that all in ordained ministry must accept the historic standards of behavior which the Church has always required.

I am deeply disturbed that what has been a discipline of ministry in every Christian tradition should have been distorted by press reports and I want to say to all our people in this Diocese that we are not condoning homosexual activity, nor are we accepting it as a normal alternate life style for either clergy or laity.

                  Yours faithfully,

                   Lewis Garnsworthy

                   Bishop of Toronto.

Quoted in Canada's MacLean's magazine for March 26, Integrity's Carman Poole, divinity student at Trinity, Toronto, said:  "We want to be known as responsible Christians.  We'll work for change within the Church.  You'll be hearing from us."  And the convenor of Integrity/Toronto responded to his bishop's letter with an Open Letter of his own.  This too is appended below.  In his letter, some light finally is added to the fire and the heat.

                         March 10, 1979

Dear Bishop Garnsworthy:

In the light of the current controversy regarding the House of Bishops' press release on homosexuality, we members of Integrity would want to express our appreciation on two counts:

First, we appreciate your support to us in allowing us to meet at your own parish of Holy Trinity each month for our Eucharist and meeting.  We appreciate that you have put no obstacle in the way of our being ministered to pastorally and sacramentally by the Church.  This has meant a great deal to many individual Christians.  We have no intention to set up a gay ghetto Church, but rather a fellowship of gay Anglicans and their friends who are active in various parishes.

Secondly, we appreciate the fact that the House of Bishops have been engaged in a study since 1976 of homosexuality.  In 1978 they took an affirmative stand regarding the civil rights of homosexuals, stating that homosexuals "have a full and equal claim ... upon the love and pastoral care of the church ... and equal protection under the law."

In the light of the Lambeth Conference Report and previous comments from the House of Bishops, we were dismayed by the latest press report from the House of Bishops and your own "Pastoral" of March 4th.  We were disappointed at the inconsistency of our "Fathers-in-God" in what they said at Lambeth and in 1978 as compared with the very negative press release and Pastoral.  We are angry when we consider the negative effect this will have on many devout gay Anglicans.  They will feel that they have been totally rejected and betrayed by the Church, and many will feel that they have to seek God elsewhere. Furthermore, your statement makes it very difficult for Integrity to preach and practice the Christian Gospel in the context of the gay community.  Your diocese includes the largest gay community in the country and one of the largest in North America.  Is it your intention to cut off the Anglican Church and yourself from this large segment of the community?

We deplore the unilateral approach of the House of Bishops to the subject of homosexuality.  Surely in this literate age the parish priests and laity should share in such a study before final decisions are arrived at.  We, as gay members of the Church, feel that we have a contribution to make to a proper dialogue on the matter, and we wish to make it, and we will make it.

We feel that the press release and your "Pastoral" were premature in that they were published before the rest of the church had an opportunity to share with you the report of the Commission on Sexuality.  We are sure you must be aware that this is not the age for paternalistic, unsubstantiated statements from "on high."   There are no alternatives but for us to reject such statements.

With regard to the House of Bishops' decision not to ordain homosexual candidates for Holy Orders unless they promise to abstain from sexual acts, we agree with the Canadian Churchman's editorial on "Double Standards."  Integrity would like to enter into further dialogue on this subject with the National Church.

Many scholars in theology, social sciences and other disciplines will disagree with your attitude to the gay lifestyle.  Should not the whole Church be made aware of all sides of the question?  You are our Fathers-in-God, but we are grown-up children and there are times when it is necessary to say "No" to one's parents!  But we do not want confrontation; we want dialogue.

                   Yours faithfully,

                   A. Wilson-Hyde,

                   Convenor Integrity/Toronto.

"IF IT DIES"

An Easter Sermon by Louie Crew

Preached at St. Andrew's Chapel, St. James's Cathedral, Chicago, Illinois, April 3, 1979.

Contrary to popular opinion, the word promiscuous does not mean "nasty" but derives from the Latin pro- meaning "forth" and miscere meaning "to mix."  Literally promiscuous means "mixed forth," or "composed of a mixture of all sorts of persons; not restricted to one class or sort of person; indiscriminate."

In all four gospels we can find much evidence that Jesus himself was delightfully promiscuous.  My favorite example is in St. John's account of a group of importunate outsiders, Greeks, who were treated to one of those rare, intimate moments with our Lord.  Nothing much is told about the strangers.  They came first to Philip, perhaps because as a resident of Bethsaida he might have been expected to have had contacts with his many Greek neighbors.  Without giving any account of their own credentials and without even establishing themselves as among the faithful, the Greeks demanded: "Sir, we would see Jesus."  Our Lord immediately shared with them a very important foreshadowing of his impending death, burial, and resurrection:  "In truth, in very truth I tell you, a grain of wheat remains a solitary grain unless it falls into the ground and dies; but if it dies, it bears a rich harvest."  (John 12:24)

I vividly remember in a Weekly Reader in elementary school in the 194O's an account of the planting of some seeds discovered in the tomb of King Tutankhamen.  After some thirty-three centuries of relative uselessness, they bore a rich harvest.

Christ's seed paradox is but one of his many versions of the same theme:  Life comes through death.  "One who would find life must lose it, and whoever loses life for my sake, will find it."  The dimension Christ added to share promiscuously with the Greek outsiders was the revelation that his own glorification would be just as paradoxical, that his own triumph would be accomplished by his death.  His closest disciples were not to understand him until after the fact.

The seed paradox is not finally morbid, because it emphasizes the resurrection, the new life available not only to Christ but, through his resurrection, to all persons.

Fr. Tom Bowers told me the true story of a young child, Stephen, who at age 8 was approaching a crisis in his relations with his classmates.  Although his peers had not previously noticed any difference in Stephen, the fact that Stephen was retarded was becoming manifest in subtle ways.  Stephen's parents and teachers were cautious, hoping that Stephen's classmates could retain their love of him even as they grew to understand his difference.

Early in April, the Sunday School teacher asked all eight children in Stephen's class to hide within an empty Legg's Pantyhose container one small object that represented the new life in spring.  Fearing that Stephen might not have understood and not wanting to embarrass him, the teacher asked the children to place all eight containers on her desk so that she could open them without reference to the individual collectors.

The teacher opened the first one to reveal a tiny flower.

"What a lovely sign of new life!" the teacher exclaimed.

The donor could not contain her pleasure: "I brought that one!" she announced.

"And what have we next?" asked the teacher as she picked up another Legg's container.  A rock "Surely this must be Stephen's," she thought to herself as she went quickly to a third container; but young Bill shouted, "You're skipping mine."

"But rocks come in all seasons," explained the teacher.

"Yes," Bill conceded, "but my rock has moss on it and moss surely represents new life."

"How very clever," the teacher affirmed.

From the third container a beautiful butterfly flew forth.  "Mine's the best of them all!" shouted Barbara amidst the glee which the butterfly had generated.  "What a very beautiful sign of new life indeed," affirmed the teacher.

The fourth container was empty.  "It has to be Stephen's," thought the teacher, reaching for a fifth.

"Please, don't skip mine," Stephen interjected.  "But it is empty," the teacher gently explained.

"That's right," said Stephen.  "The tomb was empty, and that's new life for everyone!"

Later that summer Stephen's condition worsened, and he died.  At his funeral on his casket were eight Legg's pantyhose containers, all empty.  "In truth, in very truth I tell you, a grain of wheat remains a solitary grain unless it falls into the ground and dies; but if it dies, it bears a rich harvest."

Christ's seed metaphor emphasizes that life is best realized not in hoarding but in spending.  At its best, life is not a score card or a resume, unless one most values one's own tombstone.  Rather, life is best experienced as a process, as a process of sharing.

In my study I can find, scattered about, many abandoned treasures, hulls, as it were, of the seeds which now exist only in their progeny.  One such treasured hull is a swimmer's bronze medal on a red-white-and-blue ribbon, with a scissored inscription on the back, "Gold sweat from Ken."  One of my students at St. Andrew's School in Delaware gave me that medal fifteen years ago as an affectionate token of thanks for nurture. "But you will need to keep this for the future," I protested.  "The future will have its own 'gold sweat.' my friend," he replied.  How true.  He and his lovely wife serve together now as a racially integrated couple, medical doctors both, in rural Carolina.

Two weeks ago when I visited with another former student in his trailer in Beaufort, SC, I took with me his drama trophy which he had insisted on giving me at the end of a summer in which he had occupied my guest room seven years ago while he was a broke undergraduate.  Now he is the first black dancer ever to be hired full-time by the South Carolina Arts Commission.

"George, I have kept this for you in trust, and you should now have it as a reminder of past struggles."

But he would not hear of it:  "That trophy was yours, Louie, before I ever earned it."  True enough, it is but a hull of his generosity which continues.

Christ reminds us that a seed never experiences the fullness of its nature until it dies.  Many black men refer to sperm as "nature," as in the startled phrase some of us have heard.  "Why you just swallowed my nature!"  Great writers have long explored the paradox of sexual intercourse as at once an image of violence and death while at the same time an image of re-creation and recreation as well as of pro-creation.  Fully one-fourth of the Oxford Book of English Verse celebrates life's transience, warning us to "gather [our] rosebuds while [we] may" and reminding us that while "the grave's a fine and quiet place, ... none, I think, do there embrace."

If it dies, it bears rich harvest!

At the heart of Christ's metaphor is God's bountiful generosity. God's very nature is to desire for us a rich harvest.  Christ reminds us that the difficulties which we must face, even to our deaths, are the means of our realizing more fully the persons God made us to be.

For me personally, as for many others, becoming more open with my gay sexual identity has been like a planting, a little death, with a bountiful harvest.  To be despised and reviled, to receive the world's bad report, to be summoned for a bishop's discipline and to be rejected by a dozen deans would have seemed a clear kind of death to me a decade ago as I awaited my doctorate.  I continually underestimate God's grace and God's love, don't you?   At twenty I even gave up plans for the Christian ministry because I knew my nature, I knew my seed.  It never occurred to me ‑‑ and my Church surely did not teach ‑‑ that God wanted me just as I am.  Christ does not speak of exchanging one grain for a better grain, one seed for a better seed.  He avoids all invidious comparisons.  God calls us not to become someone else but rather to be fully God's by being fully ourselves in God's service.

Recently a young gay student came to my office most distraught, telling me how the night before he had gone to a gay bar for his first time.  He had been sexually active for about a year and a half.

"Did you enjoy the bar?" I asked.

"But men were dancing with men!" he exclaimed. 

"What had you expected?" I gently goaded him.

"Suddenly all seemed so dirty to me that I left in confusion and awaited for several hours for my gay companions to join me in the car to take me home.  I don't want to be who I am.  I want to be a parent.  I want to be well liked by my straight friends.  I want to please my parents....  Oh, Louie, I feel so very awful."

Remember St. Peter when he was asked to eat pork and was scolded for calling unclean anything which the Lord had made?

My own father, a respectable man ‑‑ a public servant, a college trustee, a friend of leaders ‑‑ was deeply troubled by my own sexuality.  In fairness, he read everything he could on the subject when I revealed my sexuality to him.  "But I still don't understand.  I especially can't fathom my son's living with a black man," he told me two years ago before his current illness. "Nevertheless, I do know this for sure:  you are not now confused, as you spent most of your life being.  Somehow you are more complete.  You are nourished by this relationship beyond my imagining.  You are yourself now.  And I love you son.  I love you both!"

"A grain of wheat remains a solitary grain unless it falls into the ground and dies; but if it dies, it bears a rich harvest."

Christ's powerful metaphor honors the mystery of our lives while at the same time it affirms God's loving final intentions towards us.  I can no more prescribe for my troubled gay student his own route to wholeness and integrity than could my father prescribe mine.  I can say with assurance that because the tomb is empty.  Christ offers mysterious new life to us all.  AMEN.

LOUIE CREW is the founder of INTEGRITY the international organization of gay Episcopalians and their friends, and the author of two books and over 200 other published items.  He is an associate professor of English at Fort Valley State College in Georgia.

DEEMER RESURRECTS NEW LIFE

SAN FRANCISCO‑‑New Life lives again, according to an announcement by Mr. Philip Deemer, editor.  Early in April New Life, in a newsletter format, will be off the press and in the mail.  The last issue of the publication, then in magazine format, appeared more than a year ago.  New Life, Mr. Deemer said, "will still be concerned with renewal in the Episcopal Church and growth in our individual and corporate spiritual lives as Christians."  Fifteen issues of the newsletter per year are offered for $10.  Subscription orders may be sent to New Life, 1737 Union Street, San Francisco, Calif. 94123.

BOOKS IN BRIEF

St. Martin's Press (175 Fifth Ave., NY 10010) deserves our support with their recently inaugurated gay fiction publishing program (and if they maintain the level they reached last year with Edmund White's Nocturnes For The King Of Naples they're not likely to lack support).  Three novels, launching this new program, were released last month simultaneously in hardcover and paperback editions, each at $10 and $4.95 respectively.  A Queer Kind Of Death by George Baxt is the reissue of a 1966 gay mystery classic.  A real "gripping yarn," it's one of those books you won't want to put down until you reach the surprising ‑‑ and unsettling ‑‑ ending.  Special Teachers/Special Boys, by Peter Fisher and Marc Rugin, just misses being a "great" book.  It's the story of the faculty and student body in a New York City high school for the barely corrigible.  One of the teachers is gay and about to come out:  two of the students, meanwhile, find themselves (and each other), and by the book's end, decide to come out, too.  The message is an important one, but the writers, both veteran gay activists, haven't managed to keep enough distance between themselves and their story, so it turns out more like propaganda than literature.  Still, it has its moments, especially in the development of the relationship between Jim and Pete.  The third of this set is a work by Wallace Hamilton called David At Olivet.  The David and Jonathan story has been waiting a long time for its Mary Renault, but unfortunately Hamilton just isn't in that league.  Told in a confusing arrangement of flashbacks, this is really the tale of David and Absolom, with Saul and Jonathan merely supplying a timid prurient interest.  Still, every novel gains its admirers, so read it if the subject appeals to you. ··· Two books you really must read are Our Right To Love: A Lesbian Sourcebook (ed. by Ginny Vida, produced in cooperation with the National Gay Task Force, and published by Prentice Hall, now in paperback at $6.95), and Lavender Culture, edited by Karla Jay and Alan Young (Jove Publishers, $2.50 paperback).  Our Right To Love deserved all the praise it got when it came out last year, and this new low-price paperback edition makes it available to an even wider audience.  While it's by and about women, it is not only for women ‑‑ all gay men should read this book ‑‑ especially those who grumble so often about women not wanting to talk to us.  These articulate sisters make it very clear what it means to be a lesbian, and until gay men and straights in general begin to understand something about that, what's there to talk about?  Our Right To Love is a great way to begin learning to understand, and it's not only painless, it's downright delightful!  Certainly one of the best book buys in years is Lavender Culture, crammed full of articles and essays in virtually every field of interest imaginable, by some of the best writers the movement has produced. ··· AMS Press (56 E. 13th St., NY 10003) is planning a reprint series, The Gay Experience, due out next year.  It will consist of 39 titles in 43 volumes, six of which are available now.  You can get a catalog describing the entire series by writing to them. ··· The Scholarship Committee of New York's Gay Academic Union chapter has launched a new publication, Gay Books Bulletin.  Containing reviews of around 30 books per issue along with short scholarly papers and news of the gay movement in foreign countries, GBB is being published quarterly for $10/year.  You can subscribe (or for $3 get a sample copy of the first number) by writing to GBB, Gay Academic Union, Box 480, Lenox Hill Station, New York, NY 10021.  With all the publishing going on of books with gay and lesbian subjects, a review of this kind is most timely and welcome.

DIOCESAN COUNCIL OF CHICAGO RECEIVES REPORT ON GAYS, WITH TWO ANTI-GAY DISSENTS.

When the Diocesan Council of Chicago met on March 13, it received a request from the managing editor of the Forum, who is also lay representative to the Council from Chicago-West deanery.

Mr. David Williams asked that a report from the Task Force on Homosexuality of the Commission on Social Concerns be brought to the attention of the Delegates to General Convention and to Diocesan Council, and it was agreed that the report be included with these Minutes.  The report is as follows:

Report of the Task Force on Homosexuality, The Bishop's Advisory Committee on Social Concerns, Diocese of Chicago.

"Sexuality is the Creator's ingenious way of calling people constantly out of themselves into relationship with others."*  The various expressions of human sexuality are to be considered in light of their creative and integrative capacities, and not only in the shadow of their destructive and exploitive uses.

The Covenant Community's rediscovery of this truth has been slow and painful.  Much of today's thinking about human sexuality, like that of the Old and New Testament communities, is a reaction to an environment in which human sexuality is grossly misused.

The Task Force has been charged with considering some issues concerning the inclusion of homosexually oriented persons in the Church's life.  For example, questions have arisen about the use of Church property for meetings and worship by homosexual groups; administration of the sacraments (including the sacrament of ordination); the employment of homosexual persons (clergy and lay) in parishes, agencies and organizations; and the blessing of homosexual unions.

The Task Force is aware of considerable disagreement and is convinced of the existence of invincible doubt as to whether homosexuality is either sick or sinful.  "An invincible doubt, whether of law or fact permits one to follow a true and solidly probable opinion in favor of liberty."**

We would advise bishops and others responsible for the education and ordination of persons to the sacred ministry to judge the fitness of homosexually oriented persons by the same standards as others.  Such standards should include for all persons a responsible, creative and integrative use of sexuality.  The precedent set for the use of the Cathedral by responsible groups has for several years included the gay and lesbian communities and should serve as an example for the use of other church properties in the Diocese.

We believe that it is inappropriate and misleading in our ecclesiastical tradition to celebrate a relationship between two persons of the same sex as it were Holy Matrimony.  However, we agree with the study commissioned by the Catholic Theological Society of America that "prayer, even communal prayer, for two people striving to live Christian lives incarnating the values of fidelity, truth and love, is not beyond pastoral responsibilities of a Church whose ritual tradition includes a rich variety of blessings."

*Human Sexuality.  A study commissioned by the Catholic Theological Society of America, New York, the Paulist Press, 1977.

**   Ibid.

The Bishop stated that this issue is dependent on the report of the National Commission which will be available April 1st.  He expressed the opinion that they will probably come out with a "middle of the road" statement, and added that so far nothing has been presented other than to the House of Bishops.

The Reverend Tom Fraser, of Riverside, stated that if this report is brought to the delegates of General Convention it should be emphasized that two members of the Commission on Social Concerns did not endorse this statement.  Bishop Primo stated that the question of ordination of homosexual persons will not be pushed at this time, but it will be discussed by his committee.

DISSENTING STATEMENTS

to the Report of the Task Force on Homosexuality

I find strong objections to the statement as it is presented.

I think the Church has a duty and an obligation to hold the ideal of marriage of two persons of the opposite sex before the Christian community and the rest of the world,

The last two paragraphs I find unconscionable in part.  The last paragraph indicated to me that sexual liaison outside of marriage (hetero or homo) would be approved by the Church as long as two (or more) persons involved state they are "striving to live Christian lives."  This statement by the Catholic Theological Society of America (Roman Catholic group) is sub-Christian and pagan.

In the second to last paragraph I find it only possible to support and follow the example set by the Cathedral in allowing homosexual groups to meet if the group has as part of its stated and ongoing purpose and therapeutic goal.  That is, to move those who are homosexual toward a more mature sexual adjustment.  Any group is not to use the facilities of the Church to promote in any way the homosexual lifestyle.

When this report is submitted to the Bishop I do insist that this point of view be amended to it.  I certainly do not want my name on the statement as prepared.

The Rev. Richard E. Lundberg, rector, St. Simon's, Arlington Heights, Ill.

Because of my basic understanding of homosexuality, I must dissent from the report as presented.

From a psychological point of view I cannot regard homosexuality as a normative, mature expression of sexuality; and I do not believe that it is a sexual expression that God intends for His people.

For this reason I could not support any action on the part of the Christian Church which would endorse or "bless" homosexuality either implicitly by the use of facilities or explicitly by the Blessing of unions between couples.

At the same time I want to say quite clearly that I am not advocating (nor would I permit it in my parish) a "witch hunt" mentality on the part of the Church.  I view homosexuality in the same way as any other less-than-the-ideal human behavior.  All of mankind is imperfect, and the Christian Church must accept and welcome all men and women of good will.  I see, however, a great difference between accepting each imperfect Child of God and celebrating his/her imperfect behavior.

I would maintain this position also on the question of Ordination.  I feel that ANY less-than-the-ideal pattern of behavior which interfered with a person's ability to function as a model in the Christian Community would be disqualifying ‑‑ homosexuality no more, or less than any other.  No person should be considered for Ordination who is not able to handle his/her life ‑‑ and that includes its imperfections ‑‑ with a marked degree of maturity and responsibility in the light of Christian teaching.

The Rev. Thomas A. Fraser, rector, St. Paul's, Riverside, Ill.

STATEMENT OF INTEGRITY/SOUTHERN OHIO

to the Joint Commission on the Church in Health and Human Affairs

December 7, 1978, Erlanger, Kentucky by Joshua Moore, CAS, Convenor of Integrity/Southern Ohio.

I am here to testify in support of the Church's continuing to ordain lesbians and gay men.

Grace and peace to you in our Lord Jesus Christ.

I am aware that this Commission has been about its work for a long time now, since the General Convention of 1976.  The controversy surrounding the issues is so widespread, and the bitterness of feeling is so deep, that by now you must be rather weary of your study.  Surely by now you must have read all there is to read, argued all there is to argue and heard all there is to hear.  I remember the weariness I felt as a member of our diocesan committee on sexism and sexuality as I watched the months turn into years.  More than once it occurred to me that the issues are greater than our ability to fully grasp them.

So I imagine that by this time you have heard the standard anti-gay rap ‑‑ and the standard pro-gay one as well.  My own impulse is to give you a fiery speech about the oppression of my people ‑‑ just in case the earlier rhetoric didn't take!  But perhaps I can be less angry and more relevant by sharing with you how we experience being gay and Christian in Cincinnati:  the story of my people here, and how we are theologizing about our experiences.  For as Christians our gospel is that our God is a God who makes himself known to us.  Another way to say that is that our God refuses to stay in a closet, but rather involves himself in human affairs.  Through his self-disclosure he draws us toward him.  His Name:  I AM WHO I AM.

I.  The City as Context

Cincinnati is widely thought of as a conservative town.  Where Columbus, Ohio is the home of Hustler publisher Larry Flynt, Cincinnati is the home of prosecutor Simon Leis.  Where Cleveland is led by Dennis Kucinich, Cincinnati is governed by Procter & Gamble and Taft Republicans.  It is a vibrant city, if sometimes a less than humane one.

Over 100,000 gay people live here, each of them coping with the fact that there are relatively few outlets in the Tri-State for us to connect with each other as human beings.  Alienation and love are the common threads weaving through our lives.  And for most, it is rather more alienation than love that we experience, especially from people outside the gay community.

As our largest metropolitan newspaper put it.  "For years, homosexuals in Cincinnati have lived their private lives in the shadows, building a lifestyle that the mainstream of America called sick ..." (Cincinnati Enquirer, 4/23/78).  It's a better environment than some we have heard about, but still, to be gay in Cincinnati was no fun.

But last spring a process long in coming began to touch our lives.  We began to awaken to the reality of our oppression.

We owe it to Anita Bryant, really; and doesn't God work in mysterious ways?  But more specifically we owe it to our friends, the Cincinnati police.  In March they arrested about 70 of us in Burnet Woods and Mt. Airy Forest, two public parks.

Now the police later said they did this sort of thing routinely ‑‑ every spring they would get together the posse and "have a round up," along with their sporadic efforts to harass gay businesses and maintain surveillance of our comings and goings.  So what happened in 1978 was really nothing new.

But this time, the years of slowly edifying our community paid off.  The alarm clock rang out; we opened our eyes and united with each other.  We became politicized.  And in weeks the rights of homosexuals became a prominent local issue.

One man set the alarm off and led the way.  One man cried to Pharaoh, "Let my people go."  That man was a Christian acting out his Christianity; the Rev. Howard Gaass, pastor of the Metropolitan Community Church.  What Howard did was to call a news conference and say, "Wait a minute here ... "  The response was exciting, as our people mobilized and met together to challenge the arrests.  The local press covered the developments  extensively.

But the response was also frightening, as the city's proposed minority rights bill suddenly got reconsidered; as rumors of further police and media harassment were circulated and documented; as Pastor Gaass survived the thrill of his first assassination threat.  Still we said, "Let my people go."  And we have been saying it in different ways ever since.

Now perhaps charges of sexual contact in public places seems an odd vehicle for this account of the Passover story.  And I make no defense of those men who may have trespassed against human decency.  But police methods were extremely crude, and many of the 70 were arrested unjustly.  And beyond that, we as a people have the right of access to constructive social institutions where we can meet together, instead of being relegated to the ghetto of public parks and taverns.

In this connection, we might add that Episcopal churches ought to be ideal instruments for the enablement of truly human social intercourse; but the overwhelming response of the local religious establishment was predictably harsh and unloving.

The need for ministry within the gay community ‑‑ indigenous ministry ‑‑ has been recognized by a small number of the disciples of Jesus here.  The most visible leadership of the gay community comes from MCC, Dignity and Integrity.  This condition was enough to make one recent visitor grouse, "To be gay in Cincinnati you have to be religious too."  As Episcopalians, please be informed that we have an immense opportunity here to be the agent of reconciliation which our gospel commands us to be.  But until we have openly gay priests the Church will not gain admission to our community: because I am afraid that what is happening is that your exclusion of us prevents many of my people from taking our Lord seriously.

II.  Integrity's Ministry

In many ways, Integrity is an anomaly.  While the homophobes in the Church are trying to throw us out, we are beating on the door to get in; and the gay community which depends upon us for leadership distrusts our faith.  Ultimately Integrity is an anomaly in the same sense that the Church herself is an anomaly in the secular society.  We are who we are in a world fallen from grace.

Since Burnet Woods our chapter has attempted to develop a ministry to the Church and to the city.  To both we targeted a Liturgy of Witness Against Sexism; we had a prophecy to share.  It was that sexism and sex-role stereotyping are damaging human beings to a frightful and sinful extent, and God's judgment is upon us.  Not many people were there to hear us and I don't know that we changed anyone's opinion, but the day was significant anyway; on the first anniversary of the election in Dade County, we began to reclaim our own souls through witnessing to our faith.

We got another chance to do that last month when our diocesan convention took up the results of its two-year sexism and sexuality study.  Our members had given much and risked much in the preparation of that report and its recommendations.  We were present at the convention to lobby and propagandize for the resolutions, but even more to let ourselves be seen, to be accessible, to engage in dialogue and to personalize a complex issue.  The committee report was widely criticized from the floor: the format of the debate was changed and the old ploy of voting by orders was trotted out; but the Church voted for justice and inclusiveness ‑‑ and passed the resolutions.  Later a female priest of this diocese gave me a familiar sign; just like the ones we have all seen on the street corners of America, it read, "The Episcopal Church Welcomes You."

To theologize about our experiences as a people is to assume that God is present in those experiences and making Himself known to us through them.  We know from Holy Scripture that YHWH is a God of deliverance, resurrection and re-birth.  That is how Abraham and Moses knew him, and how Jesus was known.  It is no less true in our own day.

As individual gay people we know that to come out of the closet ‑‑ to acknowledge our identity to the world ‑‑ is to emerge, like Lazarus, from the tomb.  For the closet is death; self-hatred is the cup of hemlock handed us by Church and society.  No matter how much you read and discuss, you cannot understand our theology until you have seen the walls of our prison.  You cannot comprehend our political activism until you have touched our shackles and scars.  You cannot trust our faith until you have seen the stone which was rolled away ‑‑ and recognized the angel sitting on it.  These are not theological constructs for explaining our experience after the fact; this is what it feels like to enter into new life.

For gay people the sun is sometimes blinding and freedom is scary.  As human beings all of us have to fight the impulse to run back to the closet/prison/grave, where at least everything is familiar.  But the Lord bids us "Come out," and He is sufficient to love and strengthen us in our new life.  One way He does that is by drawing us together in Integrity.

I believe our faith-story and our experience is relevant to the Commission as you attempt to decide our moral fitness.  We know we are not sick as surely as we know our own names.  We know we are not sinners except insofar as we are human; and we share our sinfulness with all of you.  We know our Savior loves us and gave his life for us.  Our bodies are His gift and we enjoy being alive.

The question for the Church to answer is not, "Are gay people fit to be priests?"  The question is, "Do we as Christians know an empty tomb when we see one?"

JOSEPH LEONARD APPOINTED DENVER DEAN

Integrity President John Lawrence has announced the appointment of Joseph Leonard as the Dean for the 1979 Integrity Convention in Denver, Colorado.  While relatively new to Denver, Joe has had experience planning conventions, and once did it professionally.

Arrangements have been made to hold the convention at St. Thomas Episcopal Church in Denver September 9.  Members will be receiving a registration brochure shortly, and it should be noted that registrations should be sent in early in order to insure hotel space which will be tight due to the General Convention (20,000+ people).

FROM A 'STRAIGHT' HOUSEWIFE

"You'd better watch your children,

Especially the boy,"

The neighbors warned when two men moved in across the street. "They're fags you know, queer, a little strange,

And though they don't look bad

Wait until you see their friends.

And watch out for the wild parties!"

And so we waited, a little apprehensive‑‑

But also hopeful

That maybe we would come to understand

A life style with values like our own in many ways‑‑

Different in only one.

And now, four years later,

We know you as friends‑‑

Sharing the same concerns.

And when I look into your eyes,

I can celebrate the same humanity,

Feel the same hopes,

See the same Spirit

That I see in myself‑‑

And the fear is gone.

                             Marilyn Oliver

CHAPTER NEWS

Congratulations to Ron Smith, new editor of Integrity/ Albuquerque's chapter newsletter, on a literate and thought-provoking publication.  The chapter continues its monthly mass and pot-luck suppers, and hosted National President John Lawrence at the March celebration. ···· Integrity/Chicago hosted founder Louie Crew April 3rd, who preached a moving sermon at their Tuesday evening Eucharist.  Their feisty newsletter, The Integer, continues to dismay and delight, as the case may be, with its newsy, witty honesty.  The following Tuesday found the Rt. Rev'd James W. Montgomery making his first visit to the group, for which he celebrated, preached and stayed for supper. ····  Integrity/Hartford has been having celebrity time!  Our beloved Norman Pittenger was there in early March while in town to address the Project H Committee of the Capitol Region Conference of Churches.  They held an autograph party for him, and we understand he's recovered from his severe writer's cramp by now.  Then national officers President John Lawrence and Treasurer George Casper visited the chapter on Palm Sunday. ···· Integrity/ Honolulu had a celebrity last month, too, Leonard Matlovich.  He was there to testify in favor of a human rights bill.  The Integrity chapter was represented at the committee hearings on this worthy bill, too.  Honolulu's chapter is very excited about the ecumenical scope and vision the gay church groups are experiencing, and have been participating in joint services of worship with Dignity and MCC there. ···· And not to be outdone in the celebrity-hosting category, Integrity/Central Indiana (Indianapolis) co-sponsored a book party for Canon Clinton R. Jones with Dignity, Fellowship, Lutherans Concerned and MCC.  During an open forum, Canon Jones shared his experiences both in working with the George W. Henry Foundation and Project H of the Capitol Region Conference of Churches.  Co-Convenor Carol Hodges has opened an important dialogue with Bishop Jones on behalf of Integrity, and will be discussing ways the chapter can be involved with specific diocesan activities. ···· Integrity/Los Angeles has a new set of officers:  Convenor, Bill Giles; Vice-Convenor Sue Metzmacher; Secretary, Glenn Newman, and Treasurer John Drew.  All were installed at a celebratory mass on Tuesday, February 20. The chapter had a Shrove Tuesday pancake supper with their host parish, and a book-signing party with the peripatetic Canon Clinton R. Jones. ···· Integrity/New Haven enjoyed participating in a discussion of gay health problems with Dr. William Field of the Yale Health Plan and Yale Medical School.  Close enough to the Hartford chapter for frequent sharing of activities, the New Haven group was represented at Dr. Pittenger's appearance there.  ···· Integrity/New York was sorry to see their Convenor, Bill Doubleday, resign.  On his last evening with the group as their Convenor, Bill spoke on "Reflections of a Retiring Gay Activist." "Know that my time with you has been very precious and that you, as individuals and as a group, have given me very real gifts which I shall carry with me into an as yet unfolding ministry.  My prayers are with you and I hope that I may be in yours." Two particularly interesting programs on their calendar were "Educating The Non-Gay Community," featuring a panel of editors and staff from Insight Magazine:  A Journal of Gay Catholic Opinion and "Envisioning and Energizing the Future of Integrity/NY:  An Exploration of G.O.Y.A. Theology."  Now what in the world is G.O.Y.A. Theology??? ···· Dignity-Integrity/ Rochester begins an exciting new year under the leadership of Margaret Mary.  We might all take on the attitude she expresses in her letter to members appearing in the chapter's Newsletter: 

"We will celebrate our good fortune as true inheritors.  We will teach one another about our kinship.  Our Father looks upon us just as He does Jesus.  I am exuberant about being a part of such a cooperative effort for growth.  The officers, caucus heads and committee people are already moving to insure us a great year here." ···· Integrity/St. Louis knows how to do Evensong, so they felt particularly needed when the Bishop visited their host parish recently.  Speaking of Lent, their newsletter talked about how self-denial gets you somewhere practical:  It's wonderful how a little discomfort sharpens your perceptions.  So pick out your most tiresome habit, and break it during the next forty days.  God loves you anyhow, but you'll like yourself better." ···· Integrity/St. Paul has been busy celebrating their Eucharists and holding pot-luck suppers and fundraising brunches. ···· And last but not least, Integrity/Washington D.C. is just swimming in energy!  Wayne and Elizabeth visited a group of fifty 10th graders who were enrolled in a course entitled "Issues in Sexual Ethics" at a private Episcopal day school recently.  Some of the questions they got were "How did you end up gay?"  "Why do you have to tell anybody?"  "Do gay people really molest children"   "What do you think of Anita Bryant?"  The students seemed genuinely receptive to trying to understand what it means to be gay, Wayne reported, and they left with a hopeful feeling about the biases of past generations beginning to erode.  Louie Crew visited the chapter last month and "did his thing," debating David Scott on the ordination of Gays at VTS.  Their handsome newsletter, Gayspring, just bursts with good gay energy, the kind that gets things done!

FINAL APPEAL‑‑URGENT

We still need more funds to finance our presence at the General Convention of the Episcopal Church.  The current budget for this event is $10,000 and we are not quite halfway to that goal!  It is an important and crucial time.  Won't you help by writing a check and sending it off TODAY?  Do it now.  Even ONE dollar will help.  Thank you.

Name__________________________________________________

Address_______________________________________________

City________________State___________Zip_______________

Please make your check payable to INTEGRITY, INC. of to General Convention Fund -- 1979 and return to:

          Mr. George Casper, Treasurer

          530 Massachusetts Avenue

          Boston, Massachusetts 02118

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            We would like to take this opportunity

                          to extend a

                           THANK YOU

To all who have made generous contributions to Integrity and to the General Convention Fund.

Without you, none of our efforts at Denver would be possible.  We are every cognizant of your generosity, and grateful for it.

                    The Executive Committee

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LOCAL CHAPTERS

                      New England Region

Margaret Putnam, Regional Rep., 129 Spruce Hill Av., Florence, MA 01060.

INTEGRITY/BOSTON, P.O. Box 2582, Boston, MA 02208.  Convenor Robert Moore, Phone 617/547-4676.

INTEGRITY/HARTFORD, P.O. Box 3681, Central Station, Hartford, CT 06103.

* INTEGRITY/MAINE, Box 283, RFD, Damariscotta, ME 04543.  Convenor Doug Wright.

* INTEGRITY/NEW HAVEN, P.O. Box 1777, New Haven, CT 06507. Convenor Jon P. Rollins.

* INTEGRITY/BURLINGTON, P.O. Box 11, Winooski, VT 05404.  Convenor Bruce M. Howden, Phone 802/879-6811

* INTEGRITY/WESTERN MASSACHUSETTS, 129 Spruce Hill Av., Florence, MA 01060.  Convenor Margaret L. Putnam.

                      Mid-Atlantic Region

Mason Martens, Regional Rep., 175 W. 72nd St., New York, NY 10023.

* INTEGRITY/GERMANY, Convenor Toby Erdman.  Write to Regional Representative.

INTEGRITY/NEW YORK CITY, G.P.O. 1549, New York, NY 10001.  

INTEGRITY/PHILADELPHIA, 4315 Osage Av., Philadelphia, PA 19104. Convenor Samuel B. Johnson.  215/382-1774 or St. Mary's 215/386-3916.

INTEGRITY/WASHINGTON, D.C., Convenor Wayne Fortunate-Schwandt, 2112 32nd St. S.E., Washington D.C. 20020.  202/583-2158.

                       Southeast Region

Leslie Mullins, Regional Rep., 520 W. Franklin, Box 274, Richmond, VA 23220

* INTEGRITY/ATLANTA, Roger Conant, Convenor. 

INTEGRITY-DIGNITY/CHAPEL HILL, P.O. Box 1184, Chapel Hill, NC 27514.  Convenor Hogan Gaskins.  Phone 919/929-3730.

INTEGRITY/MIAMI-SOUTH FLORIDA, 123 N.E. 36th St., Miami, FL 33137.  305/444-0316 or 305/576-4216.

INTEGRITY-DIGNITY/RICHMOND, Convenor Bob Swisher, 2708 Hanover Av., Apt. 10, Richmond, VA 23220.  804/353-4556.

* INTEGRITY-DIGNITY/ROANOKE.  Write to Regional Representative.

* INTEGRITY-DIGNITY/TIDEWATER, P.O. Box 6363, Norfolk, VA 23508.  Bob Halcums, Secretary.

                       Gulf Coast Region

David Blalock, Regional Rep., c/o Episcopal Integrity/Houston, P.O. Box 66008, Houston, TX 77006.

Write to Integrity, Inc. for regional information.

* INTEGRITY/AUSTIN, Convenor Charles Arthur, 9904B Randall, Austin, TX 78753.

* INTEGRITY/DALLAS-FT. WORTH, P.O. Box 554, Bedford, TX 76021.  817/283-4317.

EPISCOPAL INTEGRITY/HOUSTON, P.O. Box 66008, Houston, TX 77006.  Phone 713/526-0555 or 713/777-7215.

* INTEGRITY/JACKSON, MS.  Write to Regional Representative.

INTEGRITY/NEW ORLEANS, 722 N. Hagan, New Orleans, LA 70119.    Convenor Don Osborn.

                      Great Lakes Region

Write to Integrity, Inc. for regional information.

INTEGRITY-DIGNITY/ROCHESTER, 42 Tyler House, 17 S. Fitzhugh St., Rochester, NY 14614.  Co-Convenors Jack Lowe and Horace Lethbridge.  716/232-6521.

INTEGRITY/CLEVELAND.  793 Bloomfield Av, Akron, OH 44302.  Convenor David Gellatly.

INTEGRITY/TORONTO, P.O. Box 873, Station F, Toronto, Ontario, Canada M4Y 2N9.  Convenor A. Wilson-Hyde.

* INTEGRITY/MONTREAL, 305 Willibrord Av., Verdun, Quebec, Canada H4G 2T7.  Convenor G. Eric Hill.  Phone 514/766-9623.

                        Midwest Region

Carol Hodges, Regional Rep., P.O. Box 68290, Indianapolis, IN 46268.

INTEGRITY/CENTRAL INDIANA, P.O. Box 68290, Indianapolis, IN 46268.  Co-Convenors Carol Hodges 317/637-8368 and Orlando S. Gustilo 317/253-8790.

INTEGRITY/CHICAGO, P.O. Box 2516, Chicago, IL 60690.  Convenor Jerry Vogt.  Phone 312/743-7489.

INTEGRITY/CINCINNATI, P.O. Box 1611, Cincinnati, OH 45201.  Convenor Joshua Moore.  513/241-7539.

INTEGRITY/MADISON, P.O. Box 5641, Madison, WI 53705.  Convenor Larry Bandfield.  Phone 608/831-8448.

INTEGRITY/ST. LOUIS, P.O. Box 7213, St. Louis, MO 63177.  Convenor Jerry Martin.  Phone 314/652-9373.

INTEGRITY/TWIN CITIES, P.O. Box 3565, Upper Nicollet Station, Minneapolis, MN 55403.  Convenor Marc Messerich.

                    Mountain States Region

Leila H. (Lee) Baldwin, Regional Rep., 1073 S. 800 E., Salt Lake City, UT 84105.

INTEGRITY/ALBUQUERQUE, P.O. Box 4996, Albuquerque, NM 87106.   Convenor David Maulsby.  Phone 505/268-8156.

INTEGRITY/DENVER, Convenor Rev'd Tom Dobbs, 1734 Washington Street, Denver, CO 80203.