May 1975 [HTML]

INTEGRITY

GAY EPISCOPAL FORUM

c Integrity 1975 ISSN: 0095-2184

Vol. 1 No. 7 May 75

INTEGRITY: GAY EPISCOPAL FORUM is the official newsletter of INTEGRITY, Inc., a national organization of Gay Episcopalians and our friends. Memberships/subscriptions/$5/10 issues. Offices at 701 Orange Street, No. 6, Fort Valley, GA 31030. Copyright 1975 by INTEGRITY, Inc. Unsolicited manuscripts must be accompanied by a stamped return envelope. Signed articles are the views of the contributors. INTEGRITY, Inc. is a nonprofit religious, charitable, educational, and literary organization.

Copies of INTEGRITY will be mailed in a plain envelope upon request at a small extra fee.

Editor..................................... Louie Crew, Ph.D.

Associate Editor......................... Ellen Barrett, M.A.

Associate Editor.................. Ernest Clay, Cosmetologist

Associate Editor......................... Dan Fee, Seminarian

Associate Editor................ The Rev. Michael G. Koonsman

Associate Editor.................... Br. Thomas Williams, LPN

Consultant......................... The Rev. Robert W. Cromey

Consultant........................... Norman Pittenger, Ph.D.

Editor May 1975 issue.................... Ellen Barrett, M.A.

ADDRESS CHANGE

Your editor graduates from seminary this month and will be moving to the San Francisco Bay Area in July, but no permanent address as yet. So please send any manuscripts and letters to: Ellen Barrett, c/o Louie Crew, 701 Orange Street, No. 6, Fort Valley, Georgia 31030, and he'll forward them.

WHAT CAN A PRIEST DO? by Anon.

1. Read, read, read. A good place to begin:

Dolores Klaich's Woman Plus Woman: Attitudes on Lesbianism (Simon & Schuster, New York, 1974)

This volume explores with scholarly acumen and readable style the sources of our ideas about Lesbianism. Its interviews with a variety of Lesbians illuminate our range. Such noteworthy Lesbians as H.D. Bryher, Gertrude Stein, Sappho, are revealed in their full personhood. Enjoyable reading and good for what ails your attitudes.

Other good books are Del Martin & Phyllis Lyon's Lesbian/Woman, Sidney Abbott & Barbara Love's Sappho Was a Right-On Woman, and Sally Gearhart & Bill Johnson's Loving Women Loving Men: Gay Liberation and the Church.

2. Think, think, think. Continually check yourself to see

whether you assume everyone to be heterosexual. "Do I assume that all these women present are interested in men?" "Do I assume that the one she loves is a man?" "Do I ever make overt, comfortable references which indicate my recognition of the existence of Lesbians?" "Am I informed about the isolation and agony of Lesbians, its cause?" "Am I astute enough to recognize in counseling when a women's anguish is caused by a crisis in her sexual identity?" (She may not be able to communicate this unless you can accept the fact and somehow let her know.)

3. Imagine, imagine, imagine. Try to identify with the Lesbian

(technical term is "love her") by imagining how she would feel at this meeting, reading this bulletin, hearing this sermon, seeing this list of nominations, being offered this program. Imagine her having just lost her life-long lover through death and seeking consolation. Imagine her struggling with a drinking problem and yet having her social life dependent on attendance at the gay bars. Listen to the talk at church gatherings, the heterosexuals making jokes about homosexuals, the men feeling free to put their arms around any young women -- listen and imagine how the Lesbian feels.

READ, THINK, IMAGINE, AND GOD WILL LEAD YOU FURTHER.

WHO AM I? by Anon.

I am the matron with children; I lived with a woman many years ago, know myself to be a Lesbian but married because society pushed me into it. Now I am a mother and I am suffering guilt for having taken the "easy way out" while my Lesbian sisters struggled on alone against discrimination and insults.

I am the teenager who feels she just doesn't fit in and doesn't understand why. All the dating fol-de-rol turns me off and I am attracted to the love preached in church. Sometimes I am troubled with feelings for women but suppress and deny them. I feel increasingly uncomfortable and fear for the future. My mental health grows more and more shaky.

I am a professional women who "rooms" with another woman and who is devoted to the church. I feel no guilt about my Lesbianism but am frightened that all this talk and publication about Gay Rights will rob me of the security we have built up, will rob us of our cover and leave us nakedly identified with a young radical element with whom we have nothing in common.

I am a young college-educated woman who is gay and content except that I miss a spiritual dimension in my life. Coming to an Episcopal service I really like the liturgy and the teaching but am reluctant to commit myself because if I am honest I am certain to be rejected by the clergy and people.

I Am Grateful - Anon.

I am grateful for the incredible lift I feel when I read a letter to a church publication by some Episcopalian, often a priest, who in humility and love speaks on behalf of my rights and dignity. Thank you, thank you, my brave Brothers in Christ, who risk the wrath and ridicule of others on my behalf.

I Am Grateful - Anon.

The priest who patiently, patiently brought Christ's love and good news to me, finally getting through several decades of self-hatred and guilt for simply being a Lesbian.

I Am Grateful - Anon.

The knowledge that God loves me AS IS and has reconciled me to Himself through Christ. I am grateful that I know what He asks of me is to accept His love for me and to love Him back.

I Am Grateful - Anon.

The reconciliation that God has effected through Christ of me, a sinner, to Him and the knowledge that although I am a sometimes unacknowledged member of society that I can still live in joy.

I Am Grateful - Anon.

An opportunity to express this in INTEGRITY, that we have a forum to share with one another.

COME TO CHICAGO - AUGUST 8-10

INTEGRITY, Inc., will hold its first annual meeting in Chicago in August 1975. Tentatively the date set is for the weekend of 8th-10th; and Cambridge University theologian Norman Pittenger has agreed to be one of the principal speakers. Arrangements are being made by the Chicago local chapter (Convenor Jim Wickliff, P.O. Box 2516, Chicago 60690), and further details may be had from the national office at 701 Orange Street, No. 6, Fort Valley, GA 31030.

All members are urged to set aside this date and to try to attend. Numerous interested churchpersons from across the country are also being urged to participate. We would welcome all suggestions. More details will appear in the next issue for June-July. Meanwhile, contributions towards the expense of the meeting (payable to INTEGRITY/Chicago) will be most welcome. Trustee Louie Crew is urging that each of us try to give at least one dollar.

A LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Dear Sisters and Brothers,

It is my heart-felt prayer that INTEGRITY can be an implacable but gentle force in reversing the traditional oppression of our people by the Church. There are, however, a few things I think need saying in this all-women's issue. I know we are all in this together, but the fight for first-class citizenship for gays within the Church is mostly going to rest with our brothers. As men in a male institution, you are in a position to be heard that even our unimpeachably heterosexual sisters have not reached. We are with you, definitely, but we must be a voice for ourselves as women before we can hope to be heard intelligently as gays.

Besides the obvious fact that the Church is not ready to listen to women's voices, there is a related and more specific reason why many of us are reluctant to involve ourselves in the gay issue in the Church -- the women's ordination controversy. Fears about sexuality becloud that fight already. Women seeking priesthood have already been accused of "cosmic lesbianism," of trying to subvert and "lesbianize" the Church, whatever that may mean. Much as we believe that all oppressed people should stand together against all violations of human dignity, we are painfully aware that the political and emotional struggles in which we are engaged do not have so easy an answer. The oppressors' tactics are clear: put down one group for its guilty association with another. Prove one woman deacon is a lesbian and you have a whip to beat the rest and a label with which to obliterate their personhood.

Then too, there is the question of what we are about in the gay movement in the Church. Is it only a civil rights thing, or is it a call for more fundamental reevaluation of human relationships, the relationship of human beings to God, and a radical reexamination of the hierarchical and paternalistic mode of classical Church polity? The answer, fairly obviously, is that it is, and probably must be, both. But few of us are likely to be able to afford the inevitable energy-draining effort of fighting a two-front war. Nor should we all attempt to.

As I have said before, I am becoming increasingly convinced that the initial work, the work toward systematic achievement of first-class status for gays in the Church structure, will have to be a mostly male effort. My sisters and I, because we are women first of all, and therefore essentially excluded from the structure must set ourselves a somewhat different agenda.

I have no good answers as to how to reconcile the difficulties gay women and men find working together in our common cause. If I did I'd have long since been canonized as a movement saint. Perhaps it is an inevitable tension, stemming from the fact that our common homosexuality is in itself the thing that divides us most fundamentally. Some of us must keep trying to work it out together, talking, clarifying, giving each other the space we need. One vehicle for this, and I think an excellent one, is the proposed co-Presidency and co-Vice Presidency of INTEGRITY's national organization. One woman and one man in each of these roles would not only be more representative of their respective constituencies, but would be able to keep alive the continuing dialogue of cooperation so vital to our movement lest we fall victim to the tactic of divide and conquer.

It does not seem likely to me that women will at this time be a representative percentage of the formal membership of INTEGRITY. I am not altogether convinced that many of us can or should be -- not because I lack faith in its possibilities as an organization, but because we need space to work out our specific problems as women in the Church.

One of these is our collective and individual invisibility as far as the power structures goes. To work this out we must unite with our non-gay sisters, and indeed, already do so in a cooperation that is probably not yet so available to gay and straight men. Perhaps this is something our brothers can learn from us. But a heavy burden in this cooperation is laid on gay women to maintain not only our solidarity with other women, but the integrity of our experience as lesbians. It can be a difficult balancing act, and a painful one, as the women's ordination issue so graphically shows.

Another problem is our isolation from each other. Locked in our separate closets, often with the additional ties of husband and children, we miss the support of other women like ourselves. In her book, Flying [p. 301], Kate Millett quotes a friend as saying:

"I'll tell you something more revolutionary than politics, more radical than the Left. SUPPORT. Just that, support. Sounds dotty, doesn't it? Silly, very apolitical, but it's the biggest change I can think of ... giving another person total support. Never balking, just hanging in, believing in them while they get it together. The most you can offer another human being. It changes things from the very bottom. More productive than criticism because it demands something finer. Damn rare thing these days, all this raving talk, rhetoric thing and the other, but who comes through?"

One means of support is small groups of those of us who know a few other gay churchwomen. After several years experience with it, I am convinced that the by-now-classic pattern of the CR [consciousness-raising] group is the most effective basic unit of the women's movement.

But what about those women who are so isolated they have not got even a small group to fall back on? The women who is sure she is the only lesbian in Podunk, Ohio, and too justifiably scared to see if there may be others? Kate's suggestion is that we try to get going a kind of network of correspondence, a "lifeline" of letter-writing, and I hope that more and more women will trust us enough to get into the idea, because we all need each other. And even those of us who have been "out" for a long time remember and respect the painful necessity to stay hidden. Maybe we can ease somewhat the loneliness of that hiding. We definitely need your support and caring to avoid the trap of only talking to ourselves ... and to ease our own loneliness too.

To be a woman in the Church is hard. To be a lesbian as well, and as a lot of us are, a feminist on top of that, is well-nigh impossible at times to handle. Alone it is insupportable. We must have each other's support to stick with it and to keep ourselves whole.

Even if you are not drawn to INTEGRITY and would rather work in an all-women's group, or if you feel for other reasons that it is not the place for you, let us try to keep in touch with each other's thoughts and feelings, and to give each other the so necessary gift of loving support. This newsletter is ours to use as one communications link. Letters are another. As editor, and as just myself, I want to be available in any way I can, to help if possible, and to receive your ideas, suggestions, manuscripts, whatever. Since I leave New York this month, write me for the time being in care of Louie Crew in Fort Valley, Ga. ... he'll see it gets to me.

May the love of God be with you all, dear Sisters and Brothers,

Peace,

/s/ Ellen

Ellen Barrett, Editor

ALL OF US QUEERS GOT TO HANG TOGETHER by Jo Ann Box

Just as far back as I can remember, I've had a wish in my soul,

A growing need to help my people,

And see their dreams unfold,

To wave the biggest gayest banner, that's ___ I live on,

To march right down on the straightest c____

Singing my little gay song. . . .

All us queers got to hang together

And help each other in stormy weather,

Can't let straight folks be my God no more.

Every sister, take the hand of your brother.

And every Mary, grab every Mother,

Now all together, we're gonna win this war.

Every red-blooded American queer,

Ought to be out doing his part. . .

No one should ever rest,

Till we have peaceful hearts,

I know jobs keep us in line and family ties are strong,

But the future of our right to love --

Lies in our hands alone. [repeat verse 2]

SISTER OF LIBERTY by Jo Ann Box

Sister of liberty, born of Gay pride,

Faced with the mission of turning the tide.

Blessed with the power of spreading Gay light,

Pressed with the need of winning our rights.

Give us the wish, so dear to our heart;

Oh, sister of freedom,

Oh, Gay Joan of Arc.

INTEGRITY CHAPTERS

INTEGRITY/Atlanta. Convenor Steve Matthews (404-996-1853)

INTEGRITY/Boston. Convenors Dan Fee (Box 51, 99 Brattle Street, Cambridge, MA 02138) and Joe McCauley (62 Upland Road, Winthrop, MA 02152)

INTEGRITY/Chicago. Convenor Jim Wickliff (P.O. Box 2516, Chicago, IL 60690) meets weekly.

INTEGRITY/Minneapolis. Convenor Frank R. Eggers (26 Arthur Ave., Box 203, Minneapolis, MN 55414)

INTEGRITY/NYC. Convenor The Rev. Michael G. Koonsman (31 Stuyvesant St., NYC 10003)

INTEGRITY/North Central Rural Pennsylvania. Contact through the Georgia office.

INTEGRITY/Philadelphia. Convenor The Rev. John Lenhardt (4711 Baltimore Ave., Philadelphia, PA 19143)

INTEGRITY/San Francisco and Bay Area. Convenor Jim Frooks (1256 Page St., No. 1, San Francisco, CA 94117; 415-621-0182)

INTEGRITY/SW Ohio and Northern Kentucky. Convenor Bob Hurles (P.O. Box 24096, Cincinnati, OH 45224)

INTEGRITY/District of Columbia. Contact through the Georgia office.

ELECTION TIME DRAWS NEAR. MEMBERS ARE ASKED TO SEND THEIR SUGGESTIONS FOR NOMINATIONS FOR NATIONAL OFFICERS TO THE NOMINATING COMMITTEE c/o LOUIE CREW. PLEASE INCLUDE A RESUME OF YOUR NOMINEE'S MOVEMENT INVOLVEMENT, ETC. AND A STATEMENT OF HER/HIS IDEAS ON HOW INTEGRITY CAN BEST SERVE AND REPRESENT OUR GAY EPISCOPAL COMMUNITY.

WOMEN LIKE ME is a New York singing group led by Roberta Kosse. They tell me this song came out of a discussion one member of the group had at a party with a woman minister who was debating coming out to her church. Whatever you decide about that, they concluded,

YOU CAN'T BE IN THE CLOSET WITH GOD

You know you got to shout it out;